


SECOND LIFE

by yuka5470



Series: SECOND LIFE TRILOGY [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Reincarnation, Songfic, agegap!jeongcheol, alternative universe, collegestudents!jeonghan, collegestudents!jisoo, collegestudents!seungkwan, collegestudents!vernon, deity mingyu, older!seungcheol, secondlife
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:08:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23765125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuka5470/pseuds/yuka5470
Summary: Seungcheol has a weird dream these couple months.of a certain person he never knew existed in his life.the melodious laughter, the adorable whine.the smell of lavender and grass.it feels nostalgic, like a hidden memory of someone special worth his world.it fills with longing, the ache and touches.but along with these dreams, comes an angel in front of him in the form of a young and cheerful yoon jeonghan."If a second life that's different from now is to come to me,Will I be by your side?Will you be by my side?"
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Series: SECOND LIFE TRILOGY [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1711894
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	1. THE ONE IN THE DREAM

**Author's Note:**

> the series consist of 3 pairing that's related but will be told in different stories.  
> this part will be focusing on jeongcheol.

**** **__**

**_"If a second life that's different from now is to come to me,_ **

**_Will I be by your side?_ **   
**_Will you be by my side?"_ **

That same voice again, he noticed. He still can't recognized whose voice was that, but the strange sense of familiarity is very welcoming within him. Like sunflower attracted toward the sun. Like a moth to a flame. Warm. And it filled with longing. A voice he's willing to listen all his life, a voice he seek all this times yet always end up in vain.

It hurts, how much more until he'll be able to see the person?

He squirm in his sleep, cold sweat wetting his forehead. He scrunch up his nose, eyebrows furrowed deeply as his palm unconsciously clenched the bed sheet.

He want to see the owner of the voice. The owner of that melodious laughter that could make Beethoven envy in his grave. The sound of heaven, he deem it. And yet, here he is, unable to touch the person. desperate and pathetic.

_**"I imagine things like this."**_ The voice continue, " ** _Even if they're words I mentioned as a joke, Will you believe me? Even if it's a funny imagination, On a sudden day when I'm left alone I'll take my steps towards you again"_**

He know he's dreaming, his consciousness telling him so. because even though he can feel the him in the dream's lips curve to a smile at the sweet adorable words his physical is struggling to keep himself from biting his own tongue. He can feel the devastation.

In his sleep, once again he tried to crane his neck toward the owner of the voice. His angel, just a glimpse, _please_ , even though it's only the person's eyes it's enough, he plead.

He can feel the presence of the person on his left, snuggling into his shoulder. He can feel his left arm pulling the person closer to him, hearing the giggles when he did so. the soft hair that's tickling his chin and nose, it smell like lavender, _sweet, like his voice._

And when the person look up, his heart beat faster in each seconds when his eyes fall at the person's smile, the pair of lips stretch out so blindingly beautiful.

Then he jolted up.

Eyes wide awake, breath panting as if he's just had a marathon. Instead of a face he really want to see badly, all he saw was the white ceiling of his bedroom.

Seungcheol palm his face with both hand. Taking a deep breath before sit up on the bed. He feels void of life, too tired to function properly. His black eyes slowly shifted to the alarm clock that lost it's job now that he's awake ahead of the designated times. 30 more minutes before it's going off. He reach for the device and turn it off.

now that he's awake, it's impossible to fall asleep again. he groans.

No other option but starting his day.

One of his morning routines, the first thing he does after waking up is going to the bathroom. washing his face, shaving and brush his teeth.

He stand straight when the reflection of his own face is on sight. He paused brushing his teeth, studying the eye bags which getting bigger and darker each day.

_He looks like shit_. He groan. again.

It's because of that damn dream. The dream of a stranger who suddenly infiltrating his life like nobody business for the last couple months. he didn't know who this person was. there's no information regarding that even though he can hear the voice, he can't even decide whether the person a girl or a man. 

It's a little bit vague.

He didn't really remember when exactly he start having this dream. but at first it's just snippets, like a flash of some images on the projector, then over times, it was like slide shows, more images came in his dream, pictorial, like instagram updates of short homemade clips but everything were faceless.

The only things that he could remember were the sensation. The atmosphere, the sight of Meadows, the grass, the wind, the giggles and a long dark brown hair standing against the red sun.

This dream will make him go crazy one day. He swear.

But first thing first..

_Coffee._ _He really fucking need coffee_.

He reminded himself. before he literally screeching from insanity.

Once in the kitchen, seungcheol turn on the coffee maker, finger tapping on the kitchen counter as he's waiting for it to brew and boiled. he was about to get something to eat from the fridge when his eyes accidentally turn to his CD player on the shelf beside his TV in the living room that was located beside the kitchen.

this morning suddenly sounds too quiet to his liking, he know everyday was the same as today, he live alone and he doesn't have any pets. but for some reason, today is quieter than usual. Like something is missing.

Instead of getting his cereal in the fridge he move his feet toward the living room. He sit on the floor and pick an album from the rack, choosing something that could cheer up his morning.

he's not a fan of music to be honest, but he got quite collection of albums. he wonder why he bought them in the first place if he never listen to it. he eyed many sealed CD album lined up nicely on the shelf, all untouched. he doesn't really have a certain taste on music, but whenever he pass by music store on his way home from work and see the display, if he likes the cover, he would buy it. and it becomes habit.

An album by local musician meet his eyes, this album is not sealed, seems like he ever listened to it once before. he turn it around to read the song list. His eyes somewhat stopped at one of the tittle.

_Second life_. He repeated in his head.

_**"When I see my face in your two eyes, As if the world has stopped, I will hug you"** _

The adorable voice ring in his head, full of admiration within the over diabetic sweet words. the last words he heard before he's awake.

Seungcheol take another breathe. He's definitely going crazy, imagining someone whom he doesn't even know. he frown as he ruffle his hair in frustration.

Even then he put the CD in the player and choose the said song. soon enough the mellow Melody start flowing in his quiet living place, offering him a solace, the calmness and the voice of the singer is really soft. Really fitting the nuance of the song. a smile escape his lips unconsciously.  


+*+*+*+  


It was at the train on the way to his office that a question suddenly popped up in his head.

_What was his response at that person's question?_ He tilt his head, arms crossed in front of his chest as he lean his body sideways on the door of the train. Head on the Clear window. eyes watching the scenery of the city.

_What was the question again?_

_**"If a second life that's different from now is to come to me. Will I be by your side? Will you be by my side?"** _

Seungcheol wonder, what was the _he_ in the dream answer would be?

Is the person his lover? Husband? Wife? Mistress maybe?

Is this person even real? Or just a fruit of his imagination?

Maybe snippets of a movie he brought to dream? Or maybe a novel? A story he heard from other people perhaps?

But all of that sound unreasonable to him. Firstly, he's not an imaginative person, never, so this is so out of character for him. Give him numbers, he'll deal with it without complaint. but never art. any kind of art that involve imagination, it will give him brain freeze.

Heck he was almost failed at literature class in high school, for seungcheol's standard that was embarrassing. if not the kindness of the teacher who definitely had soft spot for a good role model student like him, he would already found himself repeating the damn subject like some of the kids in the class. At least he only had to deal with another classic literature book to decipher.

It gave him headache for a whole week with wonwoo laughing on his tail without mercy. Since then he never want to look at any kind literature book anymore.

So this is quite surprising for a Choi seungcheol to be so infatuated by something abstract like this.

Only because it kept appearing in his dream, which until now still unexplainable. The dreams has become more frequent too. at first it's once every few weeks and then it become once or twice a week. it's been 2 months already.

Is it a premonition? does it have any means?

His stops is announced, and he become the first person to leave the compartment. He inhales the fresh air, snow has start melting, a sign that autumn is coming. Which he's glad, he's not a fan of winter.

Talking about winter, the person in his dream seemed the same too. the person's hands were as cold as ice. it still imprinted in him, how the instinct of protectiveness was strong and the helplessness when he hold the cold and trembling hands it makes him feels like he's the most useless human in this world. if winter was a human, he would fight them without no doubt.

he take a walk to his exit, blending himself among the throng of human who's focus on their own business. when he's young, he always wanted to be an adult quickly, working in a huge company, wearing ties and suit and carrying briefcase. It looks cool in his eyes, but the older he become and started his journey to adulthood, he realized that although it was just like what he imagined, this life felt empty. everyone is a living individual. the thing they only care about is themselves. No one look at their surroundings, eyes straight to the front.

So does him.

just after few steps into the city, once again his brain reminded him of his unanswered question.

What would be his answer?

_**"If I am given a second life I may live and breathe differently compared to now, Among the streets, when we'll walk past each other without knowing, I hope we remember each other. Even in our next life. Even at that time, I'll go to you."** _

Seungcheol stopped in his track. Eyes widened, breath panting harshly from hyperventilated. Suddenly he feels weak, as if his heart is being clenched, tight. Leaving him no space to breathe.

The surge of feeling of missing this person is back. like a flood, as if he's attack by an unknown power of wanting to touch the person. never want to separate. it's so strong as if someone just hit you on the gut and leaving you breathless.

This is getting severe.

Whose voice was that just now? He's panic. It sounded like him, but seungcheol know he's not one who's able to say something like that. Moreover speaking with full of love he feels like puking.

He bent and support his hands on his knees. His brief case fell, but he's careless about it. He try to inhales as much air into his lung. He closed his eyes, this time trying to calm his heart beat. He counted to 10, taking his time to relax his mind.

until he feel a presence in front of him.

The first thing that greet his eyes are a pair of huge white fur paws. he's stilled in his place. seungcheol blink his eyes to make sure what he saw was right.

When he's sure he's not imagining things he look up and face to face with a rabbit mascot holding a wooden basket of tissue sample.

"Are you okay sir?" The rabbit ask. The voice of the person inside sounded worried.

**_"No words are necessary._ **   
**_The gaze, the touch._ **

**_When I see you, I'll know it's you._ **

**_I'll find you"_ **

It's back. The sugar words. Gosh, he's sounded so cheesy. But it felt so sincere.

"Sir?" Seungcheol blinks.

It's quite embarrassing seungcheol has to take time to answer that long due to shock. he cursed silently at another reminiscent of voice rang in his head just now, this is really not funny how his life suddenly filled with some Shakespeare romance bullshit that haunting him more than a ghost story could. Not like he ask for it. He hate ghost in the first place.

"I'm okay, thank you," he stand back up, exhales weakly.

Suddenly a small sample of tissue was shoved into his hand. Seungcheol accept it awkwardly.

"You're sweating,"

"N-no, it's okay" he shoved the sample back, but the rabbit quickly cut him.

"It's okay sir, it's sample anyway." The mascot says then run back, with stumbling - almost falling, makes seungcheol worry for his safety - to _his_ (judging from the voice tone the rabbit is a male) post, in front of a small cosmetics store. Across the street.

In This shopping area there are a lot part time worker wearing animal Mascot costume to grab customer's attention. So it's not weird to see any kind of animals mascot roaming around carrying sample or brochures.

Seungcheol find it ironic, that when he's weak like that the one who help him was not the same white collar worker like him, but a rabbit mascot. He put the tissue sample to his coat pocket, picking up his briefcase then proceeding his journey to his office.

he take a deep breath. _Just 2 blocks away_ _to his office_ , he sigh weakly.

**_Among the streets, if we'll walk past each other without knowing_ **   
**_I hope we remember each other._ **   
**_Even in our next life._ **   
**_Even at that time, I'll go to you._ **

He paused in his steps again, this time instead of hyperventilating like before, his heart feel calmer, warmth has spreading inside his body. He turn his head to the rabbit mascot who is busy giving out tissues.

_The guy's voice sounded familiar_.

He shake his head in disbelieve. Turn around and continue walking.

+*+*+*+

The rabbit mascot look to his right where the guy he saw just now walking farther, hands inside his coat pockets.

"your friend hannie?" someone ask him from behind.

The rabbit mascot has to turn 180° to see his friend who laugh at the cute awkward movement. he pout behind his costume, the other guy couldn't see it unfortunately.

"Shut up! You're the one who make me go through this you punk,"  
He throw some tissue to the man as if it's salt to get rid of bad luck. the black haired boy in suits and bunny ears bandana laugh harder while picking up the tissue.

"I'm not the one who's bad enough at picking draw. I got this pretty uniform while you get that. blame your own hand."

He get a kick on the shin, it's not hard since the kick was covered by a soft fur paw but he still winced in shock, well he deserve it.

"Yoon jeonghan, Hong jisoo stop playing and get to work!"

"YESS TEAM LEADER KANG!!" the 2 part timer students hurriedly run back to the front store. jeonghan stumble in his costume, but this time jisoo help him before he fall flat on the ground.

"So, you haven't answer me," jisoo ask in between his smile when he gave some tissues to female students who walk pass by them.

"Who is he?" He turn to the mascot.

"I didn't know him."

"But I saw you talk to him,"

"He look sick so I came to look at him and gave him tissues,"

"Heh, yeah sure" the dragging tone sounded too insincere. Jeonghan turn to his left side.

"The man looks older than us, but cute. Not my type, but I can see whose type he is,"

"I told you I didn't know him~!" He tried to punch the skinny boy again but with his big bunny head he can't really see his opponent, nor measuring the distance, the hit is a miss. It met the air and he's stumble, _again_. He grumbled.

"Just you see, once I get out of this hideous costume, I'll kick your skinny ass,"

"whyy~ You looks cute in that costume hannie, oh hello miss~ please have this tissue and visit our store~,"

Jeonghan huff at the distraction.   
Once again his attention return to the spot the man in coat went. He really didn't know who the guy was, but when he saw the handsome man walking among the the crowd, his eyes just stop at that certain person.

somehow, deep down in his heart there was this lump of excitement when he saw the figure even from a far, it's jumping and his heart beat was pacing abnormally. and when the man suddenly stop walking and bend down in pain, his feet just automatically ran toward him.

and when he saw the man looked up at him, his heart felt like it stop beating.

sure the older man was handsome, and just as jisoo's predicted, his face was totally his type. and he's older too. _he likes older man._ maybe that play part on why his body was trembling with excitement.

But what is this feeling he has right now? The restless feeling, he bite his bottom lip out of habit.

_He want to see the man again._

_+*+*+*+_

"You look like _shit_ ,"

"Good morning too wonwoo," seungcheol answer flatly as he take off his coat and hang it in the coat room.

His best friend wonwoo is watching him from the pantry on the opposite side. Holding a mug on each of his hand.

"Bad sleep again?"

Seungcheol humming his answer. Lifelessly walking toward the taller guy and grab his share of drink. wonwoo always make 2 cup every morning. 1 for himself, another one for seungcheol, which he felt grateful because he doesn't have energy to make one right now.

"Do you want to go to psychiatrist?"

"It's not that severe," he answer before sipping his coffee. He moan in delight after the taste.

"You're really the best coffee maker,"

His long time friend only rolled his eyes at the empty compliment.

"But it's been months right? And honestly everytime you got that dream, your condition is getting worse. Good thing it didn't affect your work."

"at least not yet," he added.

The 2 guy walk together to seungcheol's office. some staff greet him a good morning and he nod his head at them. for a 28 years old, one can see that seungcheol is living a successful life. at the age of 26 he's already a senior auditor in this big plastic resin company, the no.1 man under their CFO. independent, single and handsome.

while wonwoo is the team leader of their IT dept, too bad his department seating placement is an open space with his table in front of his staff.  
no private place to chit chat.

So the only place they could have private talk without being seen (and basically hang out) is seungcheol's office.

They've been friends since junior high school, separated in University due to different course yet end up working together when seungcheol told the younger guy about the job vacancy for IT dept. Some people said it's nepotism. But there was nothing wrong with helping friend, besides wonwoo got accepted with his own skills and passed the test that's was held in Mass. 1 among 50 ratio. That should be a testament about how good he is in what he did.

"I don't think it's necessary to meet psychiatrist over some random dreams,"

"Does any of the dream become reality?"

Seungcheol take a sit in his chair and place the mug on the table, thinking. Finger tapping the wooden table.

"Nope,"

"So it's not a premonition..."

"Guess so," he shrug. "But today it's getting clearer."

This peak wonwoo's interest as he put down his mug too and lean forward from his seat across seungcheol.

"you can finally see their face?"

"Just their lips, but I can hear the voice clearly now. it's a bit high pitch, not too deep, but i still can't difference it as woman or man. And somehow my own voice was mixed in it too. it felt so real wonwoo ya"

Seungcheol turn his chair around, facing the bright sky through his window.

"When this person laugh, i can feel the me in the dream's heart soar with happiness, I just want to hold this person close, protecting them from every evil thing in this world," a small smile escape his lips along with his explanation unconsciously.

Reminiscing the warmth when the person in his dream snuggling closer and giggling in his chest is like a new pleasant feeling he never felt before. Seungcheol doesn't know what to do with this information.

"You're not possessed are you?"

Seungcheol turn his chair around to face a deadpanned wonwoo and frown at the words, feeling insulted.

"Do I need to go to church and ask for exorcism? i'm afraid it's a ghost who possessed your dream"

"Go away if you don't want to listen to me," he pout.

wonwoo chuckle. He lean back on the chair and stare at his friend's still pouting face. Seungcheol does look borderline worrying, for how long he know the guy, he never see seungcheol look like this. and when the first time he listened to the man's story, he thought it's just some meaningless dream, then seungcheol said the same person keep coming back to his dream, he's kind of interested.

he thought maybe it's some premonition, like maybe seungcheol dreaming of his future, maybe he will meet this person. just like in the movie. seungcheol need to get laid, period. and maybe it's a premise that this is the person who'll break his friend's zero point of love life.

basically, he's just lonely.

"but today something happened. i almost got hyperventilated in the city, the feeling was so strong. it's like a punch in the gut."

wonwoo's brows knitted at what his friend's say. seungcheol turn around to the large window behind his chair again. his office get one of the best view in this building. and when it's a bit cloudy like today, the scenery is so amazing and a feast for the eyes.

"it feels like the person is near. but how can a dream be reality? this person is just imagination, right wonwoo?"

there's no answer from his long time friend. seungcheol turn his chair back, facing wonwoo who have this concern look.

"wonwoo,"

"Hmm?"

"Do you believe in reincarnation?"

wonwoo raise his eyebrows high. Seungcheol have this serious face when he said it. Looking down at his cup of coffee while voice as soft as whisper.

wonwoo was one of those people who believe in supernatural things, he believe some things happens in circle, cause and effect. you reap what you sow. karma. and sometimes when you did something, the karma doesn't always come to your face right away. human save the deed, and some people reap their karma in their next life. be it bad or good karma.

that's how some people share some connection deeper than what they know. how some live good life despite their bad doing or how good someone in this life but their life is full with misfortune.

so in conclusion, yeah, he believe in reincarnation.

but it's not the question that make wonwoo raise his eyebrows, it's the questioner.

seungcheol was never a religious person. didn't go to church, or temple. both his parents were never a pushover for this kind of things too, so seungcheol didn't think this is an important matter.

"why?"

A small pout which appear whenever seungcheol was in serious thought is appearing on his face. elbow prop on the table, supporting his chin.

"the person in my dream was asking about second life."

"second life?"

black orbs shifted to him, looking calm but confused.

"humm, the person asking if we're living a second life, will i be by their side or will they be by my side?"

"so?"

seungcheol take a few seconds to paused, eyes staring far away at the painting on the wall on his left. a drawing of meadow, which now seems familiar,

It reminds him with the one in seungcheol's dream. he remember a sequence when the person in his dream, walking leisurely, finger touching the tall grass while it sway along to the wind. he remember his eyes focusing too much on the small touch as he walk behind the person and it warm his entire being. fills with so much love, and a small thought of how he wish the peaceful moment will last forever.

"Among the streets, we'll walk past each other without knowing   
I hope we remember each other.   
Even in our next life.   
Even at that time, I'll go to you."

seungcheol blinks, sit straight up and rub his face with both hand frustratedly.

"and i said that. can you believe that?? i'm really going crazy"

wonwoo cackle, amused at sight presented across him. a little surprised at the long romantic poetic words his friend spurt out, but managed to control his expression and though he failed at keeping his laugh hidden.

"are you sure you're not copying from some romance novel?"

"you know me for 15 years. do you think i'd read some romance shit?"

"definitely not." wonwoo replied without losing a beat.

the IT team leader watch his friend whimpering as he lean his head on the table. he feels kind of sorry to be honest.

"get some break. it's probably accumulative stress."

"cannot, last quarter is starting. i need to start making report for carousel meeting."

wonwoo make a small o, now really is sorry for seungcheol's well being.

glancing at the clock on the wall wonwoo stand up, taking his coffee with him. he need to start working, he steal 10 minutes of his working time already. not a good example. he said bye toward the immobile auditor, who humm in response to his leave, but his steps paused when he reach the door. wonwoo turn around.

"when did the dream start again?"

seungcheol look up, ruffling his hair once again and turn on his computer.

"around 2 months ago. after i get back from japan, around that time. why?"

wonwoo tilt his head a little,

"are you sure it's not some japanese virgin maiden ghost following you here?"

seungcheol almost throw the calculator on his left if only wonwoo didn't quickly shut his door. but second later his head is peeking again between the white wooden door again.

"i need you to tell me in detail whatever you did in japan. everything. Anything that you didn't told me before. see you at lunch,"

the door is shut close again. leaving the auditor ready to swore and roll his eyes.

  



	2. AN UNTOLD STORY BETWEEN US

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's closure in their history. a clean closure, yet each of them know that it still left hope of a continuation, a small sound of big IF.
> 
> what if they're still together?  
> what would happened if seungcheol held on to jihoon?  
> what would happened if jihoon persistently stayed with seungcheol?
> 
> Some feeling just couldn't be erased no matter how hard they moved and restart their life. Hearts may moved on, but memories stayed. Leaving traces that nailed into your whole being, sacred, but haunting. leaving an invisible scars.
> 
> "did he treat you well?"

seungcheol stare at his phone probably a bit longer than necessary because it gain wonwoo's attention who's been silently watching him from the side. the man in glasses is taking a peek at what his best friend is seeing that made him as if he's being hypnotized. once his eyes saw the guy is on chat he look away, until he catch the name of the sender of message, he stop munching his fried fries.

"jihoon?" he ask carefully.

seungcheol smile fondly at the name and lock the phone before putting it back on the table.

"yeah,"

"why is he contacting you again? it's been years."

seungcheol take a sip of his warm green tea, eyes fixed on the throng of people coming in the restaurant. it's lunch time, the place has slowly filled with people on their break time, the quiet atmosphere long gone as it's now buzzing with patrons talking and joking. seungcheol is pressing his lips together at the question his friend throw at him. _yes, it's been years_

_when was the last time he met_ _jihoon_ _?_

university graduation he guess? the shorter guy then moved to australia with his boyfriend shortly after they graduated, a surprise movement if seungcheol had to comment when be heard it from a friend who accidentally met jihoon at the airport. knowing lee jihoon for a good 4 years he thought he knew the guy inside out, but probably that was what love could made you doing. the most insane thing. and since then he never had a news of the dear old _friend_ anymore. until now that is.

seungcheol kind of missed him, his university life was filled with jihoon and their memories together. the eyes smile whenever seungcheol threw a joke at him, his hearty laughter. the stoic tone when scolded him from being an outsider and Boomer at the party with their friends. the night they shared together, talking and dreaming about the future.

_a future he couldn't give him._

"he wants to meet,"

"he's here?"

seungcheol nod "he said he want to give me something,"

wonwoo's eyes never left his friend's face, which looks relaxed on the outside but he know deep inside he's been nervous judging how he keep pressing his lips together. a habit he adapt over the years. wonwoo didn't know in details what seungcheol had shared with jihoon in their university days, seungcheol was never an open person, he prefer to keep things to himself until the bottle is finally full and ready to be spilled. on another note, they took different course in university, it's harder to meet when your building is few kilometers apart. and without he knew, the tittle of seungcheol's best friend has gone to lee jihoon.

he knew jihoon briefly, but was not that close. they hang out together sometimes, and even in that short chance he could see the both of them shared this special intimate feeling toward each other. wonwoo had never seen seungcheol so depended on someone like he was to jihoon, he often made a joke that they looked like an old married couple and seungcheol just accept it with a stupid grin, shrugging his shoulders and gave him a gummy smile. like it's the most neutral thing in the world.

and just like how seungcheol accept the tease like it's normal things, he expected seungcheol and jihoon to end up together until they're old and stinky. they looked good side by side and by how peaceful their relationship in his eyes, wonwoo sincerely wish them a happily ever after. but the world just didn't work like that, the surprise the world kept only to explode it later never ceased to make him wonder if there's nothing perfect in this universe.

he remember clearly that one time in their last year in university, when he didn't expect his friend came to him on one night, drunk. eyes red, body leaning heavily on the wall outside his apartment. greeting him with weak voice and a small smile.

when he ask what happened, seungcheol pat him lightly on the shoulder and enter his place with tumbling steps

_"he finally found someone,"_

_wonwoo followed him after quietly closing the door. eyes worriedly watching his friend who find a solace on his couch. he didn't say anything, but he knew who's seungcheol talking about. sleepiness faded from his head as he took a seat beside the shorter guy and waiting, watching in silent when seungcheol let out a small smile that didn't reach his eyes._

_"i think things won't be the same now,"_

_wonwoo didn't want to pry any further actually, he's never a busy body kind of person. he tried to give seungcheol his space, just want to be the ears the guy needed like usual. at all times when seungcheol came to him with this state, the other actually didn't want to be scolded or preached, he just want to spilled whatever it was that bothering his mind and wonwoo want to respect that. they know each other from very young age and they stayed as friends because they know how to treat each other preciously._

_but seems curiosity win the best of him that night. maybe it's because the unbearably quiet night, or maybe the unseen sadness that lost from his friend's calm face that intrigued him._

_"why didn't you fight for him then?"_

_seungcheol's_ _gaze fell at him, expressionless, "we're never together from the first place, and_ _jihoon_ _, deserved someone better,"_

_"you're good enough for him_ _cheol_ _,"_

_seungcheol_ _cackle, leaning on_ _wonwoo's_ _black couch. looking lifeless, yet, there's a trace of relieve oozed out from his friend. that's what confused_ _wonwoo_ _in the first place._

_it always burdening him, the whatever relationship sungcheol had with jihoon. wonwoo has never understand the concept of "some", not lover, not really friends either. when you like someone, shouldn't you be lover? especially when the feeling is mutual, and yet, something just stopping seungcheol from doing so, hanging jihoon in the middle._

_"i'm not, if there's one thing, i have become his obstacle for a better life._ _soonyoung_ _is a good guy, and he's been treating_ _jihoon_ _like the most precious person in this world. i'm no competition."_

_"isn't he your most precious too?"_

_seungcheol let out a bitter laugh after seconds comprehending the question wonwoo thrown at him._

_"Truthfully?" He muttered softly "he's not,"_

_wonwoo paused at the surprising answer. too stunned to react._

_"jihoon is precious, but strangely he's not the most precious person to me, i also don't know why... i like him, I really do, but i just can't love him.." seungcheol stop talking,_

_"I just can't give him my all...I'm such a bad guy huh, wonwoo ya"_

_There's silence that accompany them after the confession. Wonwoo just quietly sat there as seungcheol's eyes fluttered closed before finally dozed off from drunk._

_wonwoo was watching him fall deeper in slumber. sighing in disbelieve after he's sure his friends totally unconscious._

"are you going to meet him?"

seungcheol tilt his head a little at him, accompanied with a shrug of shoulders.

"i don't see why not, it's a mini reunion after all,"

wonwoo doesn't say anything further. he only give an agreement nod. some things just can't be redo, so whatever happens, it happened in the past. it's better to leave it as it is.

both jihoon and seungcheol has move on, it's not important anymore what happened before.

+*+*+*+

when seungcheol open the door to the cafe, he's greeted by the waitress on the front door. he gave the young woman a polite smile and walk inside. when he meet eyes with a familiar looking man sitting near the window, he's stopped in his track. fascinated by the sight of lee jihoon, looking the same as ever, like the last time he saw him on graduation day. the younger doesn't change, the way he looks, his hairstyle, his fashion, it feels like seungcheol return to their university days. where they're sticking together like twins.

being boys, playing games, hang out and meet up before and after class to eat. drunk together. seungcheol kind of miss that.

jihoon wave his right hand at him, and a fond smile appeared on his handsome face. feeling of relieve come to him like flood when the shorter one doesn't look awkward.seungcheol didn't realized that he's been holding his breath all along.

he take more steps until he reach their table, taking off his coat and sit across jihoon who's eyes never left him. it makes him a little bit nervous, being watched that intensely.

"you look great," he compliment the shorter guy as a waiter come to him and ask his order. he gesture to jihoon, to ask if he already order and the other nodded as answer.

"1 coffee please,"

"you don't change at all,"jihoon start.

seungcheol laughed, rubbing his nape awkwardly.

"i know, still the boring man, wonwoo said that countless time too,"

jihoon smiles wider, eyes move upward like a crescent moon, and the sight make seungcheol warm. he miss the eye smile.

"how is life? have you found someone already?"

seungcheol shakes his head with an embarrassed grin plastered on his face. his shoulder slump as he lean on the seat rest. his eyes unconsciously observing the still cute boy across him, feeling nostalgia all over again. it's been years, but it seems only seungcheol who grow older, while jihoon is still have the baby face that he always adored. his eyes unconsciously lingered on jihoon's hands and found something on his ring finger that's on the table and stilled.

there's something circling one of the finger. _a_ _ring_. it doesn't looks too luxury or fancy, just a plain silver ring with something curved on the surface. just as jihoon's taste, simple. but it held so much meaning.

it's silent, but seungcheol was sure he heard some part of his heart shattered. it's been so long, jihoon has always been special for him, and he truly wish the boy's happiness with his boyfriend, and yet, it still sting.

he wonder what went wrong in their relationship. _With him,_ and precisely think if he fought for jihoon that time, would it be him who put that ring on his finger?

"it's hard to find someone who understand me,"

"i agree," jihoon wittily answered back. seungcheol cackle again.  
"where's soonyoung?"

the waiter come back to served their order, jihoon with his hot cocoa and coffee for seungcheol. a smile reappear on his lips at the sight, jihoon couldn't hold caffeine in his body system, so he never drink coffee and always prefer hot cocoa. that small detail sounded so melancholic now. they thanked the waiter when jihoon finally answered.

"he went back to the orphanage, send some souvenirs because we couldn't visit there on new year. supposedly we'll meet again this evening,"

a domestic life. it fit jihoon well.

"i'm happy for you." he speak softly, smile left jihoon's face after the words muttered.

there's closure in their history. a clean closure, yet each of them know that it still left hope of a continuation, a small sound of big IF.

_what if they're still together?_   
_what would happened if_ _seungcheol_ _held on to_ _jihoon_ _?_   
_what would happened if_ _jihoon_ _persistently stayed with_ _seungcheol_ _?_

Some feeling just couldn't be erased no matter how hard they moved and restart their life. Hearts may moved on, but memories stayed. Leaving traces that nailed into your whole being, sacred, but haunting. leaving an invisible scars.

"did he treat you well?"

jihoon take a sip of his hot cocoa, taking his time to reply, but a small content smile grace his lips and seungcheol smiles back. he can feel the happiness that radiated from the smaller guy.

"we fight sometimes, but yes, he treat me well,"

seungcheol humming his responds. eyes on his untouched coffee. they just stayed like that for few awkward seconds, doesn't know where to start. seungcheol wanted to ask, why jihoon suddenly want meet him, but before he could ask it seems the other know what he was thinking, because a small square envelope is presented before him.

seungcheol blinks as he stare at the purple envelope. then look up toward the one who give it.

"i think you know it already when you see this," jihoon lift his left hand to show him the silver ring.

"he proposed me last month,"

seungcheol doesn't say anything but his gaze never left the happy smile, the small almost invisible dimple that appeared whenever he smile widely. and he can see there's slight blush appear on jihoon cheeks. adorable, he want to pinch it.

"the ceremony and party will be held in canada in 2 months. you should come, seungcheol ah,"

"why canada?"

"that punk want to make it legally and official in a church. one of his friend know this priest who's willing to married us, the next thing i know he told me he already ordered invitation, planned the party, booked the plane, hotel. everything. i was this close to choke him when he told me after his proposal. can you believe it??" The shorter guy rambled on and on seungcheol almost can see fumes coming out of his ears. He let out a hearty chuckle at the change of atmosphere.

"typically soonyoung,"

"i know right? sometimes i regret knowing him," jihoon huffed and crossed his arms.

seungcheol let out a louder laugh at the remarks. he shakes his head at the adorableness.

they're like water and oil, one is compassionate, one is passive. one filled with emotion and energy, the other is expressionless and quiet. and yet they filled each other weakness perfectly, it's a miracle itself they could last this long. judging by how easily soonyoung ruffled jihoon's fur in the past he thought soonyoung would be murdered in less than 3 months.   
but taking a look at the evident now, it's proven to be the opposite.   
what a unique couple.

it felt like yesterday when jihoon came to him and complaint about a certain annoying kid who kept flirting with him name kwon soonyoung they met at the club on one of their friend's birthday party. world is small after all when the next day they met again at school. soonyoung turned out to be a student too at their university. it was also the first time seungcheol ever saw someone able to pull out all kind of emotion off jihoon's usually expressionless face. it's weird, seeing his calm friend bursted out with anger every now and then, talking miles per minute and become sensitive whenever soonyoung's name was mentioned.

_"do you like him?"_

it was one night after their fooling around when the question rolled out of seungcheol's mouth. his eyes watching jihoon's bare muscle clench when he reached for his shirt and boxer on the floor.

 _"over my dead body,"_ was the shorter guy quick response.

it's far too fast in seungcheol's opinion. over the last few months since soonyoung appeared in their life, jihoon has become more feisty and it's adorable. how can he not think that way when whenever jihoon complaint about this certain kwon, his cheeks would turn pink, lips pouting and sulking on his own.

he felt envious to be honest, how soonyoung could changed his friend that fast.

 _"you didn't sound annoyed though,"_ he sit up, turning jihoon's face around to kiss him on the lips, the younger one's response was as aggressive. eagerly climbing back to his naked body and he let him. he tilt his face to have more access on the cavern, enjoying every small noises jihoon make.

 _"if he confess to you, will you accept him?"_ he ask after pulling away, nuzzling his nose on the other's neck.

jihoon is someone who barely showed any expression and mostly gave no reaction to anything, but he's always expressive and active on bed to seungcheol's pleasure. they always said the calm one is the dangerous one, and it perfectly describe jihoon. while jihoon doesn't talk much on daily basis, the shorter guy was always honest with his wants on bed.

when they first did it, it's an accident. they're back from a party held by their friends, and jihoon's place was too far so he's stranded in his apartment. it's purely due to high level of alcohol in their system, their brains were hazy and all they wanted was to satisfied each other.

one thing led to another, the relationships continued, but with consciousness attached. they didn't know what to call it, but they decided not to make the relationship official as if they're both afraid, that if they touched the topic the bubbles will burst, the relationship wouldn't be the same anymore. 

but seungcheol can see it, beyond the willing body and wild composure on bed, jihoon was not one who likes to fool around with someone without feeling.

jihoon loved him.

but unfortunately seungcheol was not on the same page.

seungcheol himself was not the type who like sex without string, he didn't play around with others, only with jihoon. So at one point in his life he was seriously considering to make it official with the shorter guy, they matched, their mind works well together. jihoon know how to control seungcheol and seungcheol know how to indulge jihoon in his mood swing. they could make a perfect couple.

and yet they didn't.

this was not jihoon's fault, it's all on him, all the blame was on seungcheol.

no matter how much he tried to brainwashed himself and imagining the future with the other guy, it felt so wrong. as if he's betraying something, someone, it didn't feel right.

jihoon was not the one. he decided when he's stick to his own selfishness.

funny, considering he's not a romantic person, but there's some part in him that's stubbornly waiting for someone. waiting to hold someone dearly, to live with that person forever.

and this person was not jihoon. it's sounds cliche but no matter how he forced himself, he just couldn't. he felt sorry, but he knew jihoon knew about this as well although he said nothing.

 _"are you crazy? of course i won't."_ he got punished through a small bite on his left neck, he winced but cackle lightly.

that answer was not as fast as his first answer, there's a halt in jihoon's voice that seungcheol recognized so well. he's uncertain with his own answer.

And perhaps, jihoon had realized this too.

Thus why he couldn't say anything when one day on their last year in university jihoon came to him, hugging him tightly, only to say that he's finally accepting soonyoung's confession. His eyes were staring straight to seungcheol's soul, looking for approval and resignment. he wanted to make a new start.

that confession was like a light struck. Seungcheol remember clearly, how he managed to control his emotion, wishing jihoon a happy relationship. squeezing the man back. he knew it, among one of those days, jihoon had already fallen for kwon soonyoung. who was he to stop him from leaving? he's not one worthy of jihoon's love and attention. he didn't have the right to fight and hold jihoon back, because he realized, he didn't love jihoon as much as jihoon loved him.

and soonyoung was always loving jihoon despite knowing that jihoon only had eyes on seungcheol. he had no confidence to love someone so bravely, to compete with a man who loves someone unconditionally like soonyoung.

so on that day, he let jihoon go.

"you will come right?" jihoon's question brought him back from his trance.

"I will," he answer, taking the envelope and open the invitation. there's the address of the church, the party and a picture of the couple in the middle of the invitation letter making a heart with their arm above their head. Soonyoung's eyes was on his trademark 10:10 while jihoon was beet red seemingly want to hide from the world albeit joining to create heart above his head. seungcheol turn it around with an amused face.

"really jihoon ah?"

he loved teasing jihoon. seeing the stoic face turned red and the small eyes widened in embarrassment as if he's ready to dig his own grave and bury himself. it's so funny.

"that's his idea to put our picture in it," the younger guy face palmed himself. muttering his reply in a tiny font voice.

"he sure rub his personality on you,"

"i can't believe either i let him do it"

laughter ring again in the place due to seungcheol. jihoon is ready to whack him if not because his phone that's ringing rather loudly. seungcheol see him pick the phone and speak in a fond voice, he instantly knew who that was.

"i'm with seungcheol, are you finished already? that's fast."

seungcheol put the invitation back in the envelope nicely and insert it inside his coat while listening to jihoon's warm voice on the phone.he finally touch his coffee, stirring it lightly with the spoon before taking a sip of it. 

"oh you're near? where? okay, wait i'll ask. cheol, do you want to go dinner with us?"

seungcheol raised his eyebrows, thinking for a second before nodding his head. it's been a while since he last see soonyoung. there's no bad beef between them, so he doesn't think it's a bad idea overall. Who knows when they'll see each other anymore.

"He said okay, i'll see you at the front,"

"let's go," jihoon stand up after he close the phone call. seungcheol nod again and stand up as well. he walk to the door while jihoon to the cashier to pay for their drink.

near the door, he took one last peek at jihoon, waiting for him to go out together. when the shorter guy approach him, he open the door and let him walk out first.

one step outside the cafe, seungcheol stop walking and crane his neck back inside through the glass windows. there are not many patrons in the place currently, as it's an awkward time between lunch and dinner. his eyes scanning the transparent glass door, just now noticing each of the customers. a couple of business men, an old lady and couple college students giggling while ducking their head on the table.

one of them had ponytail, a grey ash blonde. his eyes fixated on the back head for unknown reason. the person looks side ways and seungcheol barely able to see the face when jihoon called him.

There's a black sedan waiting on the road. soonyoung wave at him from inside the car and he wave back. grin ready on his face as he walk closer toward the couple.

the blonde head long forgotten as he climb inside the car.

+*+*+*+


	3. One Cold Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "it's almost autumn, right? but why it's still so freaking cold???" jeonghan whine loudly as he hugs his body closer. Foot stomping like an annoying spoiled child.
> 
> jisoo rolled his eyes, he's fixing his coat and scarf, taking his time without caring for the high pitch whine beside him. they have just finished their shift, barely walk out of the store when they're attacked by the harsh wind that was become the starting of jeonghan's endless string of complaint.
> 
> "lend me your scarf,"
> 
> "why?"
> 
> "it's cold!"
> 
> jisoo proceed to give the blonde head a dirty look, glaring in distaste as if he's just offending his ancestor.

"it's almost autumn, right? but why it's still so freaking cold???" jeonghan whine loudly as he hugs his body closer. Foot stomping like an annoying spoiled child.

jisoo rolled his eyes, he's fixing his coat and scarf, taking his time without caring for the high pitch whine beside him. they have just finished their shift, barely walk out of the store when they're attacked by the harsh wind that was become the starting of jeonghan's endless string of complaint.

"lend me your scarf,"

"why?"

"it's cold!"

jisoo proceed to give the blonde head a dirty look, glaring in distaste as if he's just offending his ancestor.

"I'm not the one who acts strong by only wearing single layers of sweater and skinny jeans and now you have the nerve to ask for other's scarves,"

"But I look good in this~" jeonghan swirl his body around, showing off his newly bought red sweater. then on the next second return to hug his body again in between shivering from the cold.

"And I didn't expect the wind to be this big, ugh, I hate winter." he clings to his friend and hugs the man clad in a thick white padding jacket. he stares at it with envy. Jisoo looks so comfortable despite looking like baymax.

"you always have low body temperature. if we left you in north pole you'll probably die in a few minutes,"

"yaah~"

"where are we going now?" the man in white asks in between his laughter. He finally gave up his scarf and jeonghan is more than happily grab it and circling it on his neck.

"definitely somewhere warm," he is then clinging closer again at jisoo, nuzzling his head on his best friend's shoulder. Lips grin wide and satisfied.

"It's not the time for dinner yet," jisoo mumbled as he took a peek at the clock on his phone.

"oh there's a new cafe near here, seungkwan told me they sell nice hot cocoa. want to try it?"

"I'll go anywhere but here," jeonghan shivered again when another breeze of wind ran past him. he hissed.

The place is only 10 minutes' walk from their part-time job place, fortunately, jeonghan kept complaining non-stop jisoo had to shove his face away from him when he gets enough as he skips his way to run and enter the cafe. Jeonghan followed in tow, together with his pout.

The place was quite nice, jeonghan is in awe as he admiring the interior. Got to give it to seungkwan to be able to find a good place to eat. It has some vintage feeling, with brown everywhere, warm and homey.

There are not a lot of customers around that time. Just a couple of businessman who looks serious, an old lady who is reading a book and a man near the window seat. jeonghan noticed the round cheeks, small crescent eyes and he almost squeak. _Cuteee_ , jeonghan's eyes twinkling at his finding.

"Stop staring. You'll scare him."

Jisoo pulled him by the elbow to get a seat on the corner near the bar. On the opposite end of the cute guy. The blonde-haired boy grins sheepishly at his bad habit. He just let himself led by his friend, but as he takes another look toward the cute guy, they met eyes. Jeonghan quickly bows at the obviously older man and fastens his step, earning a soft chuckle from the stranger.

"How did seungkwan know all the good places?" Jeonghan asked with envious after the waitress got their order.

His eyes wandering at the nice interior again, as mirrored by jisoo. Both may have different personalities, but if they have one similarity, it's would be their love for vintage themes. Both have these twinkles in their eyes as they beckoning at every cute thing they saw and only stop when the waitress caught them red-handed. Hiding their faces behind their hands. And giggling.

"He landed some great dates these days, and they took him to these nice places. You have no idea, I had to listen to his stories for 2 hours nonstop until I thought I was half deaf."

"Lucky bitch," jeonghan pursed his lips, jisoo shrugged in agreement. "How did he find all those hot gay guys???"

"Tinder works wonder," the black-haired boy half chuckle half sarcastic. "You just need to know when to swap a good catch,"

"All the guys I saw from that application were only ugly fat and annoying punks,"

"You need to see his latest catch."

Jeonghan leans forward, eyes grew wider as he watches jisoo open his chat history and show him a picture. Of a proud cute chubby cheeks boy who had his arm circled around a foreigner's arm. The other guy looks mixed, now that jeonghan saw it clearer, the handsome man barely smile into the picture but he tilted his head to bump it the shorter boy's head. Eyes look so fond. Honestly, they look good together.

"Wow, he's handsome." Jeonghan bites his thumbnail. Voice small in envy.

"A student of interior design, which is the most prestigious faculty in our university." Jisoo take a huge breath, envy filled his voice just like jeonghan. "Rich. Handsome. Got a nice car. The only son of our dean."

"And gay," Jeonghan adds to the list of amazing criteria mentioned by jisoo.

"And gay." Jisoo deadpanned repeated.  
"can you believe his luck?"

"Where to get a stroke of luck like boo seungkwan."

Jisoo pout and shakes his head, "probably chubby cheeks and bubbly butt were all you need."

The 2 students burst into a fit of giggles again, remembering how they often teased their friend for his awesome assets. Seungkwan has the right to brag though, he got one of the best ass jeonghan ever see. In comparison to his, of course, he sighed at his own inferiority.

They thanked the waitress when their drinks are delivered, jeonghan exhale in happiness at the amazing smell of the hot cocoa. He stirred the cocoa with his spoon when jisoo start speaking again.

"Have we decided where are we going this winter holiday?"

"Japan." Jeonghan smile as he licks the spoon.

The American born boy grumbled "Can we vote for it? We went to Japan this summer, why would we go there again??"

"Don't you want to try the onsen??? I know I would,"

"I mean, we just been there 2 months ago, and I don't work my butt off to go to the same place twice." He emphasizes his last word with widen eyes.

Although it didn't scare his friend who's happily sipping the hot cocoa.

"It was Tokyo before, this time we're going to Akita." Instead, he gives off some excuse nonchalantly like it's the most valid reason in the world.

"I don't think seungkwan will agree, I vote for Thailand." Jisoo sip his own hot cocoa and sigh in delight, "or any other Asian tropical countries that don't have snow,"

"I asked seungkwan and he agrees with me. We're going to Japan, you like or dislike it."

2 vs 1. The black-haired boy whining. Jeonghan paid no heed as he keeps licking his spoon deliciously. There's a sound of the door opened and the sound of the waitress greet, it somehow peaked jisoo's interest. jeonghan stop licking his spoon when he saw his friend's eyes widen in surprise.

"Don't look back, your ahjusshi is here,"

But it's not yoon jeonghan if he's going to obey the warning just like that. The naughty university student held the spoon in his mouth as he whips his head to the back instantly, eyes sparkling at the sight of a handsome man in a coat walking in.

He tried to bite his smile but then frown when the older man proceed to sits in front of the cute guy and smile fondly. And he pursed his lips in disappointment. Heart ache for no reason.

"Stop looking!" Jisoo hissed at him.  
This time jeonghan obeyed with a long face.

"Could that be his boyfriend?" He whispered.

His seat is not on the advantage as his back facing the couple. The couple, he hates calling them that.

Is this mean his crush is done before it blooms?

"I don't know, they don't look intimate though. But not formal either. Old friend? Or an ex perhaps?"

The pretty boy lit up at the words. Jisoo expertly acting like he didn't pay attention but his doe eyes are watching like a hawk. This is getting interesting, jeonghan is leaning forward, eyes full of expectation from the spying since he can't look back without making it obvious.

"Oh, the cute guy give ahjusshi an envelope." Jeonghan's eyes grow wider, waiting in anticipation. "An invitation. That's a wedding invitation for sure."

Jisoo nodded his head sounded so sure with what he saw. Then they heard a burst of hearty laughter from their table. Jeonghan has to hold himself from taking a peek. He wants to see the ahjusshi's laughing face.

"Oh, the cute guy picks up a phone call. Oh, they leave together."

"Already?"

Jisoo nodded again. The long-haired boy's face fell, but he slowly turns his face around to get one last glimpse of his ahjusshi.

"He's looking this way!" The black-haired boy whispered in panic, jeonghan quickly whip his head back. Almost knocking his mug, the 2 students giggles in embarrassment as they duck their head on the table.

"Wait, why do I have to hide?? He didn't know me!"

The realization just Dawn on them as they staring at each other silently before laughing louder. Too much for being idiot duo.

Jeonghan turns his face one last time but the handsome older man is no longer on sight.

He pouted again.

"He's out of your league. I think you need to step away before you get a broken heart." His best friend claps his hands softly, gaining his attention again.

"And you know I'll not mend your broken heart. I'm already busy with papers and homework."

"You meanie," jeonghan softly mumbled. "I know my place"

"It's not guaranteed either if he's gay," he whined cutely.

"Touche," jisoo replied shortly, "but the way he stares at his friend..."

Jeonghan is waiting for jisoo to finished his sentence, but the American born boy shakes his head lightly after a few seconds gazing at his friend's wishful eyes. Better not keeping jeonghan's hope high.

From the experience he knew the other boy fell in love easily, especially if the opposite is older and handsome. He can be pretty persistent and in the end, he'd cry to him because of heartbroken.

Which is always the case.

With a face and personality like jeonghan, the Japanese literature students shouldn't have a problem with catching a good older gay man to be honest. Although jisoo prefers someone close in their circle to avoid an unwanted situation. perhaps someone that is not too old too, he doesn't want jeonghan to be played with, taken advantage of his innocents or become a mistress to a married man who can't be honest to their wife that they're gay. 

_Okay_ , he's probably watching too much drama, but at least if it's in their circle they'd know their opponent. that's the point.

Just as a cue, jeonghan's phone vibrated and a new message appear on the screen. Jeonghan scrunched up his nose unwillingly at the name.

"Who?" It peaked jisoo's curiosity.

"Woo kiwook."

The black-haired boy tried to match the name with people he knew and when it clicked he made a soft 'aah'

"That senior in marketing communication?"

The blonde-haired boy nodded then taking another sip of his delicious cocoa. He really likes the cocoa in this place, he will give a lot of kisses to boo seungkwan later.

"What is it about? Presentation? You two were group mate right?"

"The presentation was done a week ago. But since then he kept messaging me."

Jisoo smirked, raising his eyebrows with an ' _i knew it_ ' look. Just as he thought. when he picked jeonghan from his class last time, the senior was staring at his best friend longingly. Like a hungry dog in front of a hanging bone. Ready to jump on it.

"Better him than the ahjusshi right?" He commented. and the blonde head in front of him is visibly twitched.

From the short introduction woo kiwook seems to be a proper guy. 2 years older, a senior, tidy, smart, and tall. _And definitely gay_. 

A perfection for his friend.

Jeonghan scrunched up his nose, but despite the reaction pink blush creeping up his pale face, jisoo chuckles at the cute sight. Jeonghan may look like a hungry affection kitten, but when someone paid him special attention he would lower his tail and hide. Afraid of their approaches. It was always the case since they became friend in highschool.

A sound of notification breaks their conversation again as another message comes in. This time jisoo saw jeonghan's eyes dilated and grew wider.

"What? Kiwook again? What did he say?"

Jeonghan look up from his phone,   
"He asks for a date,"

"Ooh?? When??"

"Now. He said he has a movie ticket and is around this area. He asked me to join."

Jisoo claps his hand excitedly, _wow, that guy moves fast_. He leans forward to the still fidgety jeonghan.

"Go with him, say yes!"

"But,"

"No but. Forget ahjusshi and just go on a date with him." Jisoo tsk-ed rather loudly, he grabs jeonghan's phone despite the owner tried to grab it back. He leans back to avoid jeonghan's hand and type fast to reply.  
After he's done he makes a smug face and slides the phone back to the pale owner.

"You're nuts! What did you type???" There's a shriek coming from jeonghan's tiny voice as he can't believe with what jisoo's doing. He screams silently when he saw the message.

' **i'd love to. I'll be there shortly. Thank you for asking me,'**

And a new beeping sound of a notification from kiwook almost makes him throw the phone at jisoo's devilish smile. That second he regrets having him as a friend.

The senior replied with a smiling emoji and the reaction jeonghan let out is a groan.

"I hate you,"

"I love you too hannie, now go. You'll thank me later."

"Are you sure I can leave you here? We're supposedly going to grab dinner together." He circled jisoo's scarf around his neck as he asks.

"I'm an adult. I'll be fine. I think I'll go straight back home and call a delivery, now shoo~"

Jisoo watches his friend reluctantly stand up despite the blushing face. He ushered the man to leave quickly as he rests his chin on his palm, elbow on the table.

"But how did he know we're in this area? Did you told him about our part-time job?" A question popped up his head when jeonghan turn around ready to leave.

The beautiful blonde boy halted and turn halfway,

"I didn't. I didn't think he knows I have a part-time job too."

Both friends staring at each other blankly.

"Maybe he saw us,"

"I guess so,"

"Go. Don't let him wait."  
Jeonghan bid him one last goodbye with a wave of hand and he waves back.

Jisoo stirring his hot cocoa after jeonghan disappears from the door, shaking his head in disbelieve. His friend is going to have a boyfriend soon. He feels like crying. He's one proud mother hen.

If jeonghan really dating the guy, 2 of his best friends will have boyfriends. Maybe he needs to find one too. It's such a waste for his handsome face.

His hand suddenly stop stirring, his doe eyes blinking in alarm.

"But jeonghan always in a rabbit costume, how did woo kiwook know it's him?"

+*+*+*+*+

Change of plan.

Seungcheol didn't know how but they somehow end up in here, at a bar nearby. They were chatting in the restaurant when soonyoung suddenly suggested for them to go drinking the night out. Tomorrow the couple is going to Busan to meet jihoon's parents then return to Australia the next day. They couldn't meet each other until the wedding party in 2 months.

"Come on, for reunion sake!"

Seungcheol awkwardly staring at jihoon who seems to give up at giving any opinion. Once his fiance wanted something he'll persuade anyone who gets on his way just to get it. The shorter guy shrugs his shoulder, letting seungcheol to make the last decision.

Seungcheol let out a soft laugh, giving in to the pair of sparkling eyes. Only soonyoung who would invite their fiance's ex-boyfriend (if he can call them that) for drinking together session.

They're not a friend from the beginning to be honest, they might try to be civilized against each other knowing their history with jihoon, _just for the sake of_ _jihoon_ , but soonyoung didn't really try to befriend him. just a simple greet and small talk to erased the awkwardness, but never more than that. And he strangely didn't really mind.

Soonyoung's eyes were only focusing on jihoon from the start, he didn't care about anything or anyone else. Not even seungcheol who happened to have ' _some_ ' relationship with the former.

Someone who is able to create an effect on jihoon in a short time was already a miracle in seungcheol's book. If a Messiah exists in this modern world, the person would come in the form of Kwon soonyoung. Bright, straight forward, never stray from his path and pure.

They each had a glass of beer in their hand when jihoon excused himself to the bathroom. Seungcheol raises his glass at the P.E teacher.

"Congratulations again for the wedding,"

Soonyoung grins widely at the greeting and tossed his own glass with the auditor's.

"Thank you. Promise me you'll come,"

"I will," Seungcheol answered behind his glass.

"Bring your partner along,"

Seungcheol chuckled bitterly, he rests his folded arms on the table watching soonyoung making funny Expression at his response.

"I don't have one."

"Still? That's weird. You're handsome, single, and successful. You're not trying hard enough,"

_**Not trying hard enough?** _

The sentence hit the bullseye for some reason and seungcheol didn't have words to retaliate. Soonyoung taking another sip of his beer, wiping his lips with his backhand before talking again.

"It's not because...right?"

Seungcheol understands what the man was implying. He quickly waved his hands before soonyoung making another assumption.

"It's ending a long time ago. I didn't have any feeling anymore,"

The other guy exhales in relief. Seungcheol laughs at the response, so after all his time soonyoung was actually feeling nervous around him. They guy did good at pretending he didn't care.

"It's my idea to invite you," soonyoung spoke in a soft voice after few moments. loud music in the place didn't seem to disturb their conversation. 

Seungcheol's gaze is fixed on the black-haired man, silently observing. He looks mature now, compared to the soonyoung that he knew in the university, he used to have this silver-blonde hair and always wearing training suit. Ears filled with piercings.

But today, the man was wearing a semi-formal shirt, sleeve rolled up to his elbow, top 3 buttons undone accompanied with tight black jeans and leather shoes. There are no more earrings decorated his ear. It's quite an unfamiliar sight when seungcheol saw him this evening, in comparison to jihoon's appearance who always remain the same. he almost didn't recognize him if not the innocent grin the man showed him.

He was pulled back from his trance when soonyoung continue speaking.

"He didn't want to invite you, afraid if it'll be awkward. But I managed to convince him,"

He played with the glass, circling the rim with a finger.

"You have a special space in his life, he didn't really mention it, but I knew he's thankful for your existence. And I personally want to receive your blessing."

Seungcheol gives him a big smile, "You treat him well, far better than I did soonyoung ah. You deserved him. You have my blessing."

"Thank you," soonyoung finally met his gaze. Stalling his next words until he finally finds the right sentence to tell

"to agree to come to meet him,"

"And willing to come to our wedding," soonyoung show off his trademark grins, then raise his glass.

Seungcheol tossed it with his and they drank it together. A surge of relieving filling his entire being. This is like a real closure now. He knew he already had one with jihoon, but it's always been quite ambiguous with soonyoung.

Because they've never interacted directly in the first place, from the beginning they're on the opposite side with jihoon standing in the middle, the only string that connected them. So even when jihoon end up choosing soonyoung, he and seungcheol felt like having an unfinished business that hanging without a clear end. And this instant, he was glad for his choice to come today.

"You guys already drunk without me?"

The 2 men stared at the newcomer who sat in between them.

"What were you guys talking about?"

Soonyoung gulps his last drop of beer before reaching jihoon's but his hand was slapped lightly.

"This is mine,"

"You're in charge of driving. Both of us can't be drunk at the same time," soonyoung cheekily answer, hand moves fast to grab the glass and drink it before jihoon can speak further.

Seungcheol saw the frown and pout that appeared on his friend's face. The old jihoon would already whack soonyoung on the head and kicked him away, but this current jihoon look so whipped and only stare worriedly when soonyoung drink most of the liquid in the glass in one go.

"You too. Don't drink too much. Don't you have to work tomorrow?" Jihoon turns his gaze at seungcheol.

"Yes, Mom,"

Jihoon's edge lips twitched as he scowls at the nickname he tried to buried years ago, but seungcheol and soonyoung both laugh at the lame jokes. It seems they're starting to get drunk after all.

The P.E teacher suddenly stands up.

"I'll go dance for a moment," then he staggered his way to the dance floor.

Both seungcheol and jihoon just watching when the man starts dancing fluidly following the rhythm of the music. People around him whistles and stares in amusement, hyping him up and the area even more. They give more space as he gets more energetic, moving like a professional dancer. Applause accompanied his every movement.

He's the star of the night.

"He's still good at dancing," Seungcheol commented.

Reminiscent of their first meeting with the ex-sports department student still fresh in his mind.

"He couldn't stop dancing. He even creates a dance extracurricular for his students."

And it seems the same as jihoon. Seungcheol observing the fond gaze the man thrown at his fiance. Voice sounded so proud.

They saw a woman in a mini tight skirt starts moving her way to grind at soonyoung, seungcheol turn his gaze from the shorter man to the dancer to the shorter man again. Curious at what he's going to do.

Soonyoung seems to enjoy the companion but when she starts circling her arms around his neck and leaned in closer to his ear he pushed her softly. He raises his left hand up to show her his engagement ring and grin innocently.

The woman seems quite stubborn soonyoung has to stop dancing and turn her body around at their table which visible clearly from the dance floor, smirking proudly and wave her hand like a puppet from behind at jihoon which made her face red from embarrassment especially since jihoon wave back in blank face at her with his left hand. Showing off the other ring in his finger. Then he left her to dance in another spot. Unbothered.

Seungcheol chuckled loudly at the unbelievable sight.

"He's a really good man. Did this happen often?"

"All the time, " jihoon answer tiredly, like he's so done.

Seungcheol laugh harder.

Jihoon watches him silently until his chuckles died. Face still blank, though his eyes shining with some spirit seungcheol can't comprehend.

"I've been keeping this for so long," he started, "why couldn't you like me back in the past?"

Seungcheol stilled and blinks his eyes. surprised at the sudden change of atmosphere.

"Just so you know your answer will not change anything. I was just curious."

Jihoon put his left cheek on his palm with his elbow on the table, half facing seungcheol.

The loud music suddenly dissappear like being muted when seungcheol faced with the question. His eyes meeting jihoon's firm one.

"I thought we were compatible back then. I almost believed that you were the one for me," jihoon continued when seungcheol didn't say anything. He narrowed his gaze back at his fiance who seems to have enjoyed the night fully. A smile stretched automatically on his lips.

"What made it failed for us?"

"Sorry," was all seungcheol can mutter. Jihoon diminished it with a wave of hand. He doesn't want an apology, he only wants an explanation.

"It's just at that time, I thought you were not the one."

"Did you have someone that you like back then?"

"No, I didn't. You're the only one I was close with,"

"was I that bad?" a frown appeared on jihoon's forehead, there's a dissatisfaction in seungcheol's explanation. Like it's not giving him the answer that he wanted. The frustration returning like a plagued as memories flooded jihoon's mind back.

"What made me unworthy that made you think I was not the one?"

"No, no ji, you're great." Seungcheol quickly retorted, he squeezed jihoon's hand. "Just like I told you, the problem was not you." He swallowed the lump in his throat as guilt is back haunting him. "It's me."

"It's all me." His voice is getting softer.

The shorter man sighed, the same old seungcheol. Never talk much about his private life. Not even to jihoon, this was what frustrate him. He didn't know what the other was thinking, what the others want. Seungcheol just lives in his own bubble and he's the spectator whom he allowed to come in once in a while when his mood was good.

He remembers even asked wonwoo, asking for advice about seungcheol. But even the best friend chose to tight lips as he respects seungcheol's privacy.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to corner you. I was just curious."

Seungcheol gives him another squeeze and smile.

"Honestly," he let jihoon's hand go, "you have the right to be angry. I didn't even know the reason too."

"i tried, i was trying hard to be reasonable at the time. we're so compatible together, i loved you but..." he paused. "a part of me was unwilling to accept you,"

_like he was waiting for someone else._

A flash of the image of tall grass invaded his mind again.   
a pale slim feet on the grass walking closer.   
The colorful disco light in the bar, blurred itself in a red and orange, reminded him of sunset.   
Someone with long hair standing back facing him against the sunset.  
A familiar smile and the echo of a giggle.

His heart is throbbing, it's pounding so hard against his rib cage. The longing feeling for that person in the dream now uniquely feels familiar. It's like what he felt back then at university. 

empty. losing focus on what he's doing with life.  
The similar feeling of the loss of someone you loved, yearn to see and meet and hold again.   
but you don't know when, don't know who.   
he was lifeless as he was being alive. 

"Are you okay?? What happens to him hoonie?"

Soonyoung worried voice brought him back from his trance. now all the noises, the sounds of loud music in the room is back, when did he become deaf of his surroundings?  
Seungcheol blinks his eyes rapidly. Seeing 2 pairs of eyes watching him with concern. Seungcheol takes a deep breath. clenching his fist as he tried to gain his composure back.

"I think I should go home now."

"Do you want me to drive you?" Jihoon offered quickly. Feeling bad after what he had done.

Seungcheol Pat his arm to tell him that he's okay, this is not his fault. His mind was just going haywire these days. it's hard to explains.

Those fucking dreams.

"No, you guys continue to have fun. I'll get a taxi." He said as he picks up his briefcase and stands up.

Drinking the last drop of his glass before reaching to jihoon and soonyoung to give them hug.

"Congratulations again for the wedding. I'll come to your party,"

"Thank you," jihoon spoke while still watching him closely.

"But are you sure you're okay? You're quite pale seungcheol ah,"

"I'm okay, don't worry." He gives his assurance at the shorter guy.

He left the bar still in full consciousness despite the slight dizziness due to the alcohol. But when he inhales the night air, it helps ease his hazy mind after the invaded flashbacks.

This really stresses him because he didn't know what's the meaning. Who's that person? And what's their connection??

The cold wind hit him and he tightens his coat as he walks to the lamp pole a few meters away from the bar. his back hit the steel pole, and he closes his eyes, enjoying the silent night. when he reopens his eyes again, he looks around and realized that lots of stores were closed in the area, making it creepier than usual.

He just called the taxi service center so he needs to wait for a few minutes.

This night seems longer than he thought. He exhales and checks his watch.

+*+*+*+*+


End file.
